How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
