When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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