Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
FUCK WHALES
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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