dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
