when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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