I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
