were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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