don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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