I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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