His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
