For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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