okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
