This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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