Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
