she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
