??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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