i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Found the puke drawer
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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