i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize