Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
