yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
