please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
