Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize