I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
