I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
