yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Oh god it's open bar.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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