My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dicks are not precious.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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