I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize