You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
