WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
