Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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