Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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