Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
