They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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