took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
time to smoke my breakfast
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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