I'm eating all of the evidence.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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