Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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