careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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