im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
