i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
