i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
