I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
