i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize