Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
