Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
