we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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