Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
