Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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