When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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