Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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