My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
