"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
is wine microwaveable?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
