I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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