If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize