I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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