Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
