yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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