I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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