I hate all girls vehemently.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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