You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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