idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
