Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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