She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
