chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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