Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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