they need to just BURY HIM!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
