Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
