I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
