Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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