I could make wine with my vomit
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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