hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
