I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
