i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
this hospital has no fireball
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize